Dear Callie,
When I received your e-mail last week, it made me smile. You’re right, I don’t know every person who reads this blog, and I didn’t know that you—at the ripe age of fifteen—were reading either. Blogs weren’t cool when I was fifteen; we were stuck on AIM. I know you said it would be really awesome to still be reading my blog when you get married and have kids, but I can’t promise I’ll be blogging forever, so I decided to write this now while I’m still writing and you’re still reading. You didn’t ask for any advice, but I’m ten years older than you so I felt compelled to give you some anyways….please pardon me while I put on my big sister hat.
To Callie, and Any Other Fifteen Year-Old Reading This Blog;
Fifteen is hard. Believe me, I get it. You’re still growing into your face and finding yourself. The good news is, most of the things that are a Really Big Deal right now, won’t be a big deal in ten years. I promise.
You probably won’t marry your first boyfriend. Or your second boyfriend. Or your third. That’s okay. Because all of those boyfriends will teach you something, and they will make you more grateful for your husband, when you find him. How do you know if he’s “the one”? You’ll know when God tells your heart that you’ll never find anyone better. And when that happens Callie, don’t let him go. Keep your body pure for him. It won’t be easy, but I know you can do it. Respect yourself, and he will respect you in return. If he doesn’t, he’s not the one. Do you hear me?
Your friends at fifteen will probably not be your friends when you’re twenty-five. If you’re really lucky, you’ll hang on to a select few. The rest will fall by the wayside during and after college, and that’s okay. They will change, and you will too, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Be selective with your friendships, Callie. Trust me in this. It is always better to pour yourself into a few strong and loyal friendships, than to spread yourself thin over a ton of shallow ones. Once you master this, you will be left with the real deal—the friends who will pray for you, cry with you, and do absolutely anything for you in your hour of need. They will bring you dinner after you have a baby and cry with you when your marriage hurts and help you kick cancer’s ass. These friendships are priceless, and they are incredibly rare.
Speaking of friendships, be a good friend, okay? Be the kind of friend that makes time to e-mail and call. Listen without judgement, and celebrate wholeheartedly the successes of your friends. Be kind in your words and truthful with your intentions.
When people hurt you—and mark my words—they will, the best thing you can do is forgive them. Secretly hoping they get fat and develop acne will not do you any good. I don’t expect you to fully grasp this at fifteen; I am still learning it at twenty-five. But trust me when I say—offering forgiveness feels good. You will sleep better at night knowing that you did your part. Likewise, when you hurt people (and you will), don’t hesitate to own it, apologize, and ask for forgiveness yourself.
Work hard. At school, at work, at life. Inspire the people around you, and make your parents proud.
Take care of your body, Callie. Not to be skinny, but to feel good. You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Find a form of physical activity that makes you feel alive, and find time to do it on a regular basis. Stay away from drugs, and don’t drink until you’re 21. Not just because it’s the law, but because you’ll be a lot smarter in six years. A LOT smarter.
Wear sunscreen. Seriously. Skin cancer and wrinkles are no joke. Don’t get wrapped up in blogs (too much). Facebook is the devil. Spend more time offline than online. Learn how to make things with your hands, and don’t ever, ever stop reading.
Pray. Pray for your future husband, and your future children. Fifteen is not too young to pray for those things; it’s the perfect time to pray for those things. Above all else Callie, at fifteen, embrace the person God created you to be. God gave you a specific set of talents to use on this earth for a short period of time. Don’t shy away from them, or be ashamed of them. Use your gifts for His glory, and He will use YOU as a light in this world, as a faithful steward of his grace (1 Peter 4:10).
Dream big. Love hard. I know God has great things in store for you.
Love,
Ashlee
