I love yoga. I’m sure a lot of people say that, but I truly madly deeply LOVE yoga. I’ve been practicing for almost five years now and have found the benefits and rewards absolutely endless.

Hence, my current frustration. While working from home this week, I have taken advantage of my flexible schedule by attending the morning yoga classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. Usually a night-time yogi, I was excited to experience a different class with a new instructor. Dressed in my favorite navy blue yoga pants, mat in hand, I entered the studio with high hopes.

Breathe in, breathe out. Warrior. Downward dog. Dolphin. Tree. So far….so good.

Then enters: the man…..and all high hopes were washed away.

Twenty minutes into yoga class, he enters. This man is quite large, sweating profusely, wearing socks and tennis shoes, and panting as if he had just run sixteen miles. Silence fills the room; all that can be heard is panting. I glance over my shoulder, careful not to lose my balance during triangle pose, and watch this man flop a mat down on the floor and sigh loudly.

What on earth? Does he know there is a class in here? Switch to opposite side warrior. Aha…now I can see him in the mirror. I watch, amused and disgusted all at once, as this man proceeds to lie down flat on the mat. Might I add- still sweating, still panting, and still wearing shoes.

Next thing I know, he proceeds to complete a series of stretches. All lying on the mat, while the rest of us are standing in opposite side triangle. He is softly panting now, with occasional moans.

Not distracting in the slightest.

I believe I was in the warrior III pose when the snoring began. Wait, is this really happening? Did this strange sweaty man really just walk into yoga class twenty minutes late and lie down to take a nap? The snoring gets louder and I start to giggle, nearly falling over lopsided. I am appalled, entertained, and beyond confused.

As class progresses, the snoring only gets worse. Sort of a cross between my dad and a small pig. I continue with my poses, trying desperately to tune him out by focusing on the teacher’s voice and my breath. Absolutely impossible.

Finally- time for Savasana. For all you non-yogi’s out there, Savasana is the final relaxation pose where you essentially lie down flat looking like a corpse. Well, whatdya know? The man is already there, perfect! He’s finally participating! As the lights are turned off and the teacher stops speaking, every single person in the room listens to the man snore for the next seven minutes…..aka the longest seven minutes of my life.

Look, I get it…yoga is not for everyone. Not everyone is flexible, not everyone can bend that way, blah blah blah. But here’s a thought- if you have NO intention of practicing yoga, and certainly NO intention of even trying, do NOT come to yoga class. I beg you.

I know the room is dark and peaceful and the instructor’s voice is relaxing. You probably thought you could enter unnoticed and take a short nap in the back of the room, completely undisturbed. But guess what buddy? You’re disturbing me.

So please snoring yogi- take your snores elsewhere. I will never be able to master scorpion pose listening to you.

Many thanks.