real life.

Today my friend Lesley wrote about comparing ourselves to other bloggers. I know that I personally have gotten caught up in the comparison game from time to time, comparing everything from my writing and photography to my personal style and home decor choices.

I like to keep things happy and pretty around here, but I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to ever compare themselves to the small window of life that I share on this blog. There is a very real life going on outside of where my heart resides, and most of the time, it’s not very glamorous.

For instance, this was my morning….

I made a promise to myself that I would never discuss poop on my blog or facebook, but since I’ve already posted the picture, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

Everett only poops once every ten days.

Yep, you read that right. He’s been like that since birth. Doctor says it’s nothing to worry about, totally common for breastfed babies, blah blah blah. So, every ten days, I basically have to put myself on lockdown in the house and wait for the impending shit-storm (literally). We’re not always home when it happens. Sometimes we’re at Target or on the freeway less than 20 minutes from our destination. It is always gross, there are never enough wipes, and Everett goes immediately into the bathtub afterwards. I could go into more detail, but I will spare you, in case you’re on the fence about whether or not you want children.

Moral of the story: my real life is not as pretty as this blog would imply, and I hope you all know and believe that.

p.s. I’ll never talk about poop again, I promise.

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58 Responses to real life.

  1. Jackie says:

    ha thanks for keeping it real. you deserve a giant beer tonight for cleaning up this one.
    Jackie´s last blog post ..lately

  2. Anna says:

    Although completely repulsive, that picture is AMAZING. I laughed out loud looking at it!! The best part: Everett looks totally kick back about being covered in his own business. He probably felt amazing. I’m sure you didn’t. Give yourself a special treat for dealing with that shit ;).

  3. Michelle says:

    Oh, Ashlee– I’m not a mom…but I LOVE hearing the real life stuff– sometimes cute nursery deocorations and adorable dresses seem all to fake. This is real. thanks! PS. I’m probably missing something, but how does a baby poop all over the front of himself???
    Michelle´s last blog post ..Reconciliation, Justice and Jesus

  4. Kaitlyn says:

    Haha, I could have done without the picture. ;p

    My cousin has a wonderful story of a time when she had a very small baby and was a bridesmaid at her best friends wedding. It was a couple provinces away so they flew in and rented a car. Part way to their hotel they had to stop to change diapers in the boot and as soon as the old diaper came off there was an explosive poop storm in the back of the rental car. All over her, the car, their luggage — into the tiny crevices. LOL, they cleaned it up best they could and quietly returned the car without saying anything. Being parents is hard. and Poop sucks.
    Kaitlyn´s last blog post ..Nautical for Fall

  5. Christy Lollar says:

    Oh. my. gosh.

  6. I remember those days! Now the shit I get from my kids is more figuratively than literally. 🙂
    Shannon/Flourish´s last blog post ..Wedding at The Crocker Art Museum, Sacramento, Ca

  7. kelsey says:

    Wow! That is impressive. 🙂
    kelsey´s last blog post ..What Is a Mom?

  8. Paulette Hawes says:

    Dearest Ash and Everett –

    Poor, poor, poor Everett. This picture will live in eternity via the web! Hopefully, it will not prevent Everett from his career aspirations some day!

    Love, Mom

  9. Oh wow! Bless your heart! I haven’t had to change a diaper like this YET, but we just started solids so I’m sure it’s bound to happen soon.
    Kari {ryan and kari plus one}´s last blog post ..The Best of Etsy

  10. Claire says:

    I know the feeling of comparison, I do it, too. I have finally come to the place where I can (mostly) love what everyone brings to the table and be thankful for what God has given me (or not given me, as hard as that is.)

    Also, my kids did that and once ALL over my friend. Who is, actually, still my friend.
    Claire´s last blog post ..Finding My Place

  11. You KNOW you’ll be showing this photo to his first girl friend on whom he has a big-time crush! Poor Everett.

    My hubby’s and my plan for a stinkopotamus or two was in ten years. Keep in mind that four years ago it was ten years, and today it’s still ten, LoL. And now this post has increased it to fifteen years. Thanks, Ashlee!
    Laura Marcella´s last blog post ..What the Weird?! Sources of Inspiration

  12. Dani says:

    Oh. My. Word!
    Dani´s last blog post ..Birthday

  13. Danielle says:

    I had sooooo many of those days!! Thanks for keeping it real …love the post!

  14. I’ve heard of this happening! It’s impossible to be “constipated” b/c all he’s eating is milk. But I’ve heard they learn to clinch and that’s how they’re able to hold it for so long. I could be way off on that though! Haha! Love that things aren’t all rainbows and butterflies…we all have these stories! 😉
    natasha {schue love}´s last blog post ..Baby Ethan: Week 15

    • Ashlee says:

      I don’t even want to understand the science behind it. He has to outgrow it at some point, right?! Can you imagine? I’m pretty sure he loses two pounds every time he poops. Ew.

  15. Katie says:

    I may have giggled a little bit at this. But you poor lady! Go reward yourself with some Go Girl. You deserve it.
    Katie´s last blog post thing

  16. Kris S. says:

    Aww. Ashlee hang in there. This is totally real. I know it’s hard not to compare everything in our lives. I find myself comparing myself to you and your wonderful vacations and wishing I could go on them! lol

    I still nanny on the side from my day job and *&^% gets REAL! lol
    I had an episode where the boy was older in diapers…aka bigger &^*%, no baby wipes to be found, and bath tub it was.

    • Ashlee says:

      UGH. It is probably a lot worse when it’s not your own kid! p.s. Our last “vacation” was to Santa Barbara, and guess who had a major diaper blowout in the car on the way there? We had to pull over on the side of the road and….well….I won’t go into details….let’s just say it was bad. Very very bad.

  17. Becky says:

    Hahahaha oh my gosh Ashlee this was awesome!
    Becky´s last blog post ..Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

  18. Michelle says:

    OMG! That picture is priceless. Thank you so much for sharing and keeping it real. You put a smile on my face. 🙂
    Michelle´s last blog post ..Letting Go

  19. Jen says:

    Totally needed that laugh!! Brett’s comments are cracking me up too! I’m really happy Ev does not look upset at all by his activity- What a man !! I’m so sorry you have to deal with that clean up though. Make bath time bleach your friend 🙂

  20. Helen says:

    That’s hilarious. I never believed my brother when he told me abouth these.. incidents with his little daughters. Now you gave proof 😉

  21. Jill says:

    I don’t have children, I don’t know you personally, I’ve never commented before. But I ADORE this post. Shit happens in life right? Thanks for the brutal honesty. And PS, how is he still that cute even covered in poo? 🙂

  22. kate says:

    This is pretty funny, because just yesterday I discovered STFU, parents. I’m not telling you to STFU, it’s just timely. and pretty gross! 😉 fun-e stuff though. I hope you enjoyed your giant mojito!
    kate´s last blog post ..things

  23. lacey says:

    before we had our son, my husband didn’t believe in blow-outs. and luckily for us, landon never had the kind where it went all the way up his back or anything like that. but, there was the time when i was holding him and he pooped and it went everywhere. and by everywhere i mean, all over me, all over him, all over the floor. gross. my husband became a believer after that.
    lacey´s last blog post ..THAT ONE TIME I WOKE UP ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED.

    • Ashlee says:

      It’s so gross. Good thing our babies are cute right? Ev totally redeemed himself in the bathtub. He looks too adorable covered in bubbles to stay mad at.

  24. caprice says:

    Love this! You have such an amazing way to bring humor and to capture a moment in time and share with us that makes our day! I am going to be the weirdo that looks past the poop and ask where you got that adoreable romper? Althought it reminds me of my daughter when she wheres her special outfits and ends up having accidents. I swear they just “know”.

    • Ashlee says:

      THOSE WERE BRAND NEW JAMMIES FROM GRANDMA! I was devastated. Luckily, they were salvaged, along with the crib sheets (not shown, and for good reason). I think if you throw everything in the wash immediately, you have a good chance of getting the poop out. Although now there is probably poop in the washing machine. Oh well. I have bigger things to worry about. 😉

      • caprice says:

        Oh boy! No worries on the washing machine…just throw a few old towels with bleach in there and that should sanitize it. You know I always said…there is a reason they make babies so cute! Especially when you have to clean up hazmat diaper explosions! I must say I am really impressed by your guy. Usually it is just up the back-not sure how he worked it to the front?!

  25. Kat says:

    Oh man….this makes me laugh so hard. Just sooooooo funny! I couldn’t resist but share your oh-so-glorious morning with Dave & the days we have to look forward to. 🙂

  26. Beth says:

    I remember those days! Juliette would usually save it for when we were running out the door, just loading into the car so Mommy could drop her off at daycare and go to work. Then I’d feel something wet on the side where I was holding her… We went through lots of laundry in those days, and Mommy attempted to leave earlier every day because you just never knew what was gonna happen.
    Beth´s last blog post ..Two Pink Lines

  27. Kathleen says:

    I love you for posting this. 🙂
    Kathleen´s last blog post ..Project Life Weeks 31 & 32

  28. kate says:

    holy crap! (literally)…now that is a blow out…he looks so proud. you definitely deserve a drink after that cleanup! 🙂
    kate´s last blog post ..a day at the park..

  29. thank you, thank you for posting this <3 i get caught up in the comparison game much too often. & now i feel as if we're kindred spirits… been there! i'm currently in uganda fostering two kids, & the baby sleeps with me & i've woken up to this more times than i wish to count 🙂 & of course, she is ALL SMILES every time it happens! lil stinker. (also, we wash clothes by hand here… yes, it's as bad as you can imagine. ha.)

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