girl crush.

(I am completely aware that this post is going to make me sound like a total loser. But this really happened, so…whatever.)

I was standing at the counter waiting for my nonfat extra hot tuxedo mocha to appear when I saw her walk through the door. She had killer bangs, a huge smile, and the second cutest baby boy I’ve ever seen holding on tightly to her hand.

She seemed to know everyone there, probably a former barista in her pre-baby days, although I had never seen her at my Starbucks before. Her little boy flashed me a smile and I couldn’t help but mention that I had a baby of my own at home. We exchanged polite mommy chit-chat, the good kind with familiar nods and no judgments. She was cool. Cooler than cool. And she looked exactly like Rachel McAdams, which made her even cooler. I freaking love Rachel McAdams.

“Tuxedo mocha for Ashlee!”

I grabbed my drink, said bye, and left to run as many errands as I could possibly fit in to the two-hour babysitting window I had that day. It was one of the first times I had left Everett at home, and was still getting used to being out and about without him.

I later mentioned the Rachel McAdams lookalike to Brett, who joked that I should have asked her out on a play date.

“Am I really that desperate?” I joked back.

Well, apparently I am, because I have run into the Rachel McAdams lookalike four times since then and every single time I contemplate inviting her and Rory to hang out with me and Ev. Is that weird? Is that desperate? I know we live in the same city and share a mutual love for baby boys and caffeine, but is that enough to form a friendship? Is this what stay-at-home-mommyhood has done to me? Made me so desperate for new friends I am willing to hit on complete strangers at Starbucks?

It’s possible. At least I’m willing to admit it, right?

Question of the day: how do you ask out a new friend? Would you be creeped out if a person like me asked you out on play date at Starbucks? I’m trying to be as non-creepy as possible, but I feel like the fact that I just blogged about this encounter is the ultimate creep factor.

(BTW, if me and Rachel McAdams lookalike actually do become friends in real life, I will have to delete this blog post immediately. Thanks for understanding.)

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58 Responses to girl crush.

  1. Amanda says:

    I would totally not be creeped out. Its nice to meet people that are kind and friendly. It’s a hard thing to find these days. People look at me crazy when I do nice things for them like hold the door for them, or spot them 34 cents so they dont have to continue to dig through every pocket and inch of their bag to pay for their coffee.

  2. Sarabell says:

    I mean, she looks like Rachel McAdams so I don’t see how it could possibly be creepy.
    I’m not a very social person and I’m not sure I’ve ever invited someone I didn’t know to hang out with me, just been the invited. I’ve never really been creeped out by someone inviting me to anything before, but I have politely declined because of a (perceived, at least) lack of similar interests… or because I felt like they were trying to sell me something.
    Example:
    “You’re really cool, we should hang out on Tuesday. Have you ever heard of Mary Kay?”
    Aaaaaaaaand I’m out!
    Sarabell´s last blog post ..Colorado Trip, The End

    • Ashlee says:

      HA! I had a woman approach me at Target selling Mary Kay and it was super awkward. Like, in the makeup aisle. I felt like she was staking it out or something.

  3. Amanda says:

    that is HILARIOUS. No, you’re absolutely not a creeper. In fact, with my experience with meeting new people (especially new mommies) I feel like an over excited puppy dog because all I want to ask is “Do you want to hang out!?” “can we be new best friends!?” If anything, you’ve given me the comfort knowing I’m not the only creeper…errr I mean, non creeper out there.

  4. I wouldn’t be creeped out , and that’s a start to making other new moms. I found a park a nice place to meet other moms. I take a while to warm up to people , but kids are nice ice breaker 🙂 Good luck
    Julie@my5monkeys´s last blog post ..Night Beat Blog Tour & Ebook Giveaway

  5. Ashley says:

    Oh my goodness, I have this exact same conversation with my husband on a weekly basis. I’m constantly running into normal-ish moms at Buy Buy Baby or Target and try so desperately to figure out how to say “um, I’m a stay at home mom, wanna be my friend?” but I always chicken out. I tell you what, if you figure out how to ask out Rachel McAdams you let me know.. I could use the advice. 🙂
    Ashley´s last blog post ..Cousins Say Hello [& other updates]

  6. OMG, isn’t it the truth though? How else do you meet other women/mommies that you would actually want to hang out with? It’s so hard! I think the fact that you have run into her a coupe times has allowed you to casually warm up to her and get to know her a little more than just a one time chat. Clearly you do have a lot in common…and why wouldn’t you both want to become friends? I’m sure she would love to get together…I say go for it!!

    PS…you live in Sacramento, right? We’re stopping for lunch there tomorrow before taking off to a wedding in MN. Maaaaybe one of these days we might be able to get together too! Now, who’s the creeper?? 😉
    natasha {schue love}´s last blog post ..Baby Ethan: Week 10

  7. Lana says:

    The even funnier possibility is that she already reads your blog….

    • Ashlee says:

      That thought crossed my mind for a BRIEF second. If I never run into her again I’ll know it’s true and she got totally creeped out and had to find a new Starbucks.

  8. Katie says:

    I say ask her! Although I am no expert on asking out a new friend haha. Never tried before but I think you should. I mean why not?
    Katie´s last blog post ..time for a break

  9. Colleen says:

    Omg I totally have the same inner monologue . I have not actually asked out a mom crush of mine, but I do have two moms that I met once at a meetup and came home told beau about them saying, “babe, I met my new bestie today but she doesn’t know it” I have since hoped each day to run into them and sure enough slowly but surely we are now good friends who see each other weekly. Good luck. Good mommy friends are hard to come by!

  10. jackie says:

    Do itttt. What have you really got to lose? A little pride? Who the heck cares. A new friend would be worth it!
    jackie´s last blog post ..welcome to the jungle

  11. Ariann says:

    I don’t think it’s creepy at all! I think it’s a great way to make new friends 🙂
    Ariann´s last blog post ..On Photography

  12. Shani says:

    I would definitely ask her on a play date! Why not? The worst that could happen is she says no and you move on right?

    But I find it so so hard to make friends now days (much easier at school!) so I would be super stoked if someone with similar interests randomly asked me on a play date! Perfect opportunity I say!

  13. Ruth says:

    I love it! (and by the way, i’m totally obsessed with rachel mcadams. she’s kind of my favorite). it’s totally not creepy to plan coffee or a play date together. well, i hope not because just the other day, we sat at the same table as another couple, and ended up exchanging emails and phone numbers before we left. i’m pretty confident that i’ll be doing the same thing many times this year, with any other cool expat looking person i see.

    • Ashlee says:

      Um, who wouldn’t want to be friends with you and Dave? I bet you guys will meet all sorts of cool couples while you’re living in China! You’ll come back to the states and have tons of “international friendships” which will make you even cooler than you already are 😉

  14. Ashley says:

    Umm, hello! I think she might be the first person we ‘pick’ to be in our play group! Remember it’s by invitation only, and she seems to be a good candidate for our super exclusive group 😉

  15. Lacey says:

    i LOVE this. making new friends is SO hard. good luck to you!

    (i’m still undecided if i would be freaked out or not. but if it was actually you asking me to be your friend, i wouldn’t be freaked out at all. just sayin’.)
    Lacey´s last blog post ..I LOVE…

  16. Sophie says:

    you’re not a loser at all! i have struggled to meet people in the more than two years i’ve lived in Boston. Several months ago I was on a bus to NYC and sat next to a girl and we totally hit it off. The whole bus ride I was trying to think of a way to “ask her out.” Finally, we were pulling into Penn Station and I just blurted it out. She said she was about to do the same thing! We’ve been friends ever since. Just do it! 🙂

  17. Paulette says:

    Hey Ash –

    Maybe there is a reason you have run into each other four times. So go for it! Rachel McAdams may be your new BFF!

    Mom

  18. Ashley says:

    Oh my gosh. I’ve had similar conversations with my boyfriend. There is a girl who works at the Target near me and we always chat while she’s bagging my items. I’ve come home and told my boyfriend that I think we’d be great friends and he says “Just ask if she wants to hang out or something?” But I feel so awkward! It’s so hard to make new girl friends these days!
    Ashley´s last blog post ..Summer Update

  19. kate says:

    i think if you’ve run in to her 4 different times then it means you have a lot of the same common interests! (like babies and lattes..ha!) but i say you should totally invite her to hangout…and a play date is perfect, the babies are the buffers! 🙂
    kate´s last blog post ..Weekly Series: 17 weeks

  20. Michelle says:

    Haha, you’re too funny. If you have run into her 4 times, and you recognize each other, I’d say casually ask her. I became friends with a girl in college because we kept having class together. The second lecture class was coincidence, after our 4th class we were finally like… “Okay, I think you’re in ALL my classes, what’s your name?” and we became friends after that. Not besties by any means, but it definitely made all the awkward weirdness of recognizing each other but not talking melt away. Good luck!
    Michelle´s last blog post ..Back in the Saddle Again

    • Ashlee says:

      YES. I mean, it does get awkward after a certain point when you keep running into the same person at the same location….speaking of which, I should probably cut back on my starbucks intake. Sheesh.

  21. Holly says:

    Not creepy at all! You both have a few things in common (cute babies and coffee) – and the fact that you’ve run into each other 4 times already is more than a coincidence, don’t ya think!? I would say casually suggest a play-date, or coffee-date. You never know, she might be thinking the same exact thing you are right now!
    Holly´s last blog post ..Happy Campers

  22. Kat says:

    5bucks says she’s thinking the same thing….about how COOL and hip and fun and funny and pretty and normal YOU are. I absolutely love this post….and can totally relate even in a non-new-mom kind of way. Maybe it really all does go back to everything you really need to know you learned in kindergarten….like how to ask someone if they wanna play. 🙂

  23. Claire says:

    Welllllll I actually have personal experience with this. Sorta. Ask miss Lesley Miller how I introduced myself to her. It may have involved me saying something like, “Hey! You and your cute kid look familiar, oh yeah, I read your blog and follow you on twitter and on instagram….!” I felt like a creeper just saying it and she STILL agreed to meet me for coffee where I talked and talked and talked….and she SAYS she wants to have coffee again sometime…

    I say meet cool people where you can! You never know where your next awesome girlfriend will come from.
    Claire´s last blog post ..Tension

    • Ashlee says:

      Ha! You are brave. Although I will say, that’s better than tweeting at her later saying, “were you at the park today??” That’s happened to me a couple times and it’s a little weird.

  24. Lottie says:

    i don’t think it is creepy probably because in six months i will be having the exact same thoughts running through my head when i see a cool mum.

    and if she asked you on a playdate would you find it creepy? i am guessing not, so why not ask her. or maybe go for a coffee–you have that in common 🙂
    Lottie´s last blog post ..seven things you never knew.

  25. Britty says:

    My other new-mama friends have all said this! One friend in particular had similar feelings to you at first. Once she (and her husband), starting “asking out” other new parents, the other couples ALWAYS said yes. Usually replying, “Thank god! We were going to ask you the same thing!”

    Go for it, girl. And then you can tell her that you blogged about her already.

  26. Heather says:

    Yes! Totally ask her out. I dont think it will becreepy at all especailly since you’ve seen her more then once – seriously what are the odds of that?!!? Universe is def trying to tell you something!

    I would maybe ask to have a play date out in public first. Like a local park or a fun playgroud. That way she 1. wont know where you live in case shes weird and 2. she wont feel weird walking into a strangers home.

    Also she picked a cute name for her babes and I’m pretty sure Ev shouldn’t be friends with anyone that doesnt have a cool name. Cause his is the coolest.

  27. Mel W says:

    After my last breakup I realized all my friends were engaged/married/new parents, so I made it my mission to spend an entire summer focusing on asking girls out (to be my friend) rather than finding guys to ask me out on dates. It worked like a charm! Through Twitter and in real life I was very honest and began awkwardly asking girls on “dates.” I think I’ve said “I know this is awkward, and I promise I’m not a lesbian, but would you want to grab a coffee or a beer with me sometime?” a dozen times in the past year. It’s worked like a charm, and I am so grateful for the women I now have in my life and call my friends. She’s probably waiting to do the same thing to you! Go for it! 🙂

  28. Kris S. says:

    I don’t think it is wierd at all. You found someone that is similar to you! Don’t feel creepy at all. I’m not in college anymore and I work at an office where I am the only employee. The only people that I come into contact with are criminals…I work at a crim defense law firm. So you can only image what I get every day! HA!

    I have been here for about a year. I never get to have work lunches with anyone. So I get pretty lonely. But I make it a point to talk to people in the other offices in our building or just talking to people at trader joes. Or any store I happen to come across.

    I’ve also made some friends at the yoga studio I go to. And try and make new friends that enjoy the same things that I do…It’s not about quantity it’s about quality. I think you should exchange numbers with her! And ask her to coffee sometime!

    • Ashlee says:

      I’m glad you’ve made new friends at yoga! Doesn’t sound like your job is the best place to meet new people, yikes. Totally agree about quality over quantity. Definitely.

  29. lindsay says:

    this is totally how i met my best friend, the creeper in you will pay off!
    lindsay´s last blog post ..insta`tuesday and weekend love

  30. Well, I’m not a mom, so I can’t give first hand advice, but my best friend has a one year old and she talks a lot about this same issue, especially since she just moved to a new city and doesn’t know anyone. You should check out her blog post about “Mommy Dating”, you could probably totally relate. 😉 Good luck! http://today-begin.blogspot.com/2012/08/adventures-in-mommy.html

  31. Natalie says:

    I love this! I can totally relate. Making girlfriends once you’re out of college is so tricky! Feels like dating.

    If you ever ask her you have to update! Good luck 🙂

  32. Haha! This is so cute! I’ve definitely had girl crushed before…and hoped we’d become friends. Ha!
    jennifer blair´s last blog post ..I’m missing my green thumb…

  33. Angeline says:

    You have to check out the book “MWF Seeking BFF.” It’s a funny (and informative) memoir, and the author has more than one occasion like yours. I’d just go for it!
    Angeline´s last blog post ..It’s in the (work) bag

  34. Teri says:

    So I’m way behind on reading this post, but whatever happened? Did you guys become friends?

    I feel the same way. We moved to our new city two weeks before our son was born, and I knew no one here. I run into people Anne of Green Gables would call a “kindred spirits” but don’t want to freak them out by being too aggressive on the friend front. 🙂 I’m trying to find the balance between being proactive with making friends and being “that weird girl.” 🙂

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  36. Caroline says:

    I found your site via Louder Mouth and absolutely love it! 😀 I can relate to this post so much; I am a seriously aggressive befriender of new people! I once started chatting to a girl in Zumba class, realized we worked in the same industry, called her at work, and invited her out for a cocktail! She brought along a friend (in case I was crazy…!) – fast forward a year, and we all just went on holiday together and are the best of pals. Definitely get chatting to Ms Rachel MacAdams lookalike, hello stylish new friend! 😀 xx

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  38. Ashley says:

    This (and the Part II to this) is still one of my favorite posts on here hahaha. This happens to me too when I meet people who just seem like interesting folk that you feel like you would probably mesh well with, but unfortunately only regularly see them at a Starbucks, ya know?
    Ashley´s last blog post ..a world of octobers.

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