a typical morning looking for lice.

“I think my scalp is bleeding.”

Brett walked into the kitchen and I looked up at him in confusion, pausing between bites of cereal.

“Huh?”

“I just did my hair and saw a bunch of red spots on my scalp. When I touched them, I had blood on my fingers!”

I placed my bowl of cereal on the coffee table, and told Brett to sit down so I could examine his head. Sure enough, there were little red spots on the top of his scalp. It looked like dried blood.

“Does it hurt?” I asked.

“No, it doesn’t hurt at all. What do you think it is?”

“Hang on,” I said, as I grabbed my iPhone. I immediately started googling bloody scalp, bloody hair, bloody head, etc. Naturally, everything from skin cancer to Celiac Disease to Hemophilia popped up as a result, including the grossest of all: LICE.

“Oh. My. Gosh. Do you have LICE? Are those bite marks?!” I asked in horror.

“No way! My head doesn’t itch!” he protested.

“Babe….you know I love you….but there is no way I am going to comb lice out of your hair. I just…..can’t.”

My arms were getting itchy just talking about it.

We stared at each other.

“Maybe you should call your mom,” I said. Brett’s mom used to be a nurse, so she’s usually the first person we call when we have a health concern. We told her about the blood spots on Brett’s scalp, and asked if it could be lice. She seemed doubtful, but instructed me to look though his hair again to see if I could spot any eggs. Gross. I took a deep breath and started combing through Brett’s hair with my fingers.

“Well….do you see anything?!” Brett was on the edge of his seat, literally.

“I don’t see any eggs…..wait a minute….what is THAT?” I squinted my eyes, unsure of what I was looking at.

“Babe….I just found a blue spot too!”

“Blue?!!”

Seriously, WHAT IS THAT? Is it mold? Can people grow mold in their hair??? First lice and now this? I kept my thoughts to myself and kept combing through his hair looking for bugs and other signs of mildew.

A few seconds later, I came across another section of Brett’s head that was covered with green and yellow spots. I immediately started laughing as I realized what it was.

“That’s not blood on your head, it’s leftover COLOR! From the color run!”

Brett still looked a bit confused, but also extremely relieved that he didn’t have lice.

Lesson learned for next year: wash hair at least eight times after the color run before assuming you have a lice and mold infestation growing on top of your head.

p.s. In case you were wondering, I walked the whole thing. Thanks for reassuring me that it’s okay to not love running.