Today was my first day “back to work”, although I use that term lightly. I managed to shower and get dressed before 9:00am, a miracle in itself, and left Everett with my mother-in-law for the very first time. I was slightly anxious, but also grateful for the opportunity to do all sorts of amazing things like go to Starbucks (alone), hit up the post office (alone), and pick up some things I needed and didn’t need from Target (alone). Have I mentioned how difficult it is to run errands with a baby? The sheer effort it takes to get him in and out of the car is enough to make a person swap their Jamba Juice for a “McSmoothie” because unlike Jamba Juice, McDonalds has a drive-thru.
But I digress. After taking six weeks off from my regular part-time gig (aka my only stable source of income), I returned today to learn that, due to unforeseen circumstances and a few company changes, my services would no longer be needed. Womp womp.
I had a feeling it was going to happen, and even discussed with Brett last night what to do if that was the case. We both agreed Everett was our top priority at this point, and that if something ever did happen to my work arrangement, it would give me the opportunity to take care of Ev full time, should I choose to do so.
24 hours later, here we are! To be honest, I never really thought of myself as the stay-at-home-mom type. I had preconceived notions about what that meant, and legitimately feared that I would lose a part of myself or not feel as fulfilled as I felt in my job. I pictured myself as the stereotypical stay-at-home-mom, looking like a total mess driving a minivan with screaming children in the backseat covered in jello. I was afraid that if I stayed at home full-time, I wouldn’t have the energy for writing or photography. I was afraid I would forget how to socialize with adults or turn into that annoying baby-crazy mom who posts pictures of her kid on Facebook all day (oh wait….).
And then? Then I spent six weeks at home with Everett and everything changed.
I haven’t lost anything, and I suddenly feel more fulfilled in my role as a mother than I ever felt in the workforce. Don’t get me wrong; it’s far from glamorous. I’m covered in spit-up and pee every day, rarely shower before 3:00pm, and haven’t slept longer than three consecutive hours in six weeks. Regardless, I am also more content than I’ve ever been and it’s shocking, even to me. I never knew how much I could love staying at home with a baby, until I was home with my baby.
I still plan to pursue photography, work with The Violet, and maybe pick up a few freelance opportunities here and there. I think it’s important for me to maintain a creative spirit through those endeavors. They keep my mind sharp, my heart happy, and my frozen yogurt fund full.
Money is going to be a bit tighter moving forward (goodbye cable, again), but I’m mostly feeling grateful, relieved, and confident that this is the best plan for us right now. Plus, Everett is pretty stoked about it…
…this is his stoked face. He’s pretty cute, right? 
Bummer on the job, but I love that your chin is up! You will do great no matter where you are working and what you are doing. God’s timing is truly the best thing, isn’t it?
Angeline´s last [type] ..Summer Staples: The one-piece swimsuit
Absolutely! Thanks for the support friend. Excited to see you soon!
Congratulations on your decision! Whatever decision you make is the right one. Enjoy your precious time with Everett!
This post was very encouraging to me! Josh and I plan to have kids someday, and being a stay-at-home mom seems like an unavoidable option for us. I am glad that, despite the hard, hard work, it is fulfilling! Everett is adorable.
Faith´s last [type] ..One.
Congratulations!! I thought that I would loose part of myself staying home / always had a negative view that lifestyle choice…. Until I became one! I have never felt so fulfilled. Kudos to the Mamas who can juggle work, fam and personal time. They are seriously AMAZING! I love and am so Thankful for time
with T. I’ll get back to work when my little guy is in school.
You’re so good with Trent, Raquel. I can tell you love being home with him….can’t believe he’s almost a year old! Eek!!
With Hope closing I’ve been able to stay home with Brooklyn for her whole first year and it has Been the best thing I’ve been able to do as a mom. It truly was s blessing in disguise for our family. All the best you!
After being in school for 10 years, dreaming about the day where I’d have my own classroom and students that were all “mine”, I never thought I’d say this- but I’d LOVE to be a stay at home mom. If money were no issue, I’d never go back to work (but at least I can work part time). I’m so excited for you! See you Friday
Ashley Gray´s last [type] ..And She’s Back.
I think working part-time is ideal for a lot of moms….you get the best of both worlds! See you Friday
Oh, motherhood. My best friend asked me today what I am goIng to do when my you best is in school (next year) and will I start a career. I found myself stuck trying to justify my stay at homeness to her and myself. Anything I say I want to do with my life still sounded “unimportant”. Life is funny. God is funny with the opprtunities He gives (or takes away). I am happy being a mom. It’s only when I allow (because it really is a choice even unconsious) others to look make me feel less fulfilled that I ever question my choices. Motherhood isn’t always glamorous or fun. I’ve been the sloppy, minivan, jello covered, screaming mom before. It happens, but I just need to not let those moments define me. It’s hard sometimes, though!
I think feeling the need to justify staying at home is one of the biggest challenges of actually staying at home, which is really sad. I’m glad you love staying at home, and are able to do so, minivans and jello and all!
I am currently in the process of trying to have a baby. And when the time comes, I would love to be in your shoes and be a stay at home mom like my two sisters. But I bring home the bacon. Enjoy your precious time with Ev. He most definitely is an amazing bundle!
Michelle´s last [type] ..Day at the Zoo
Hi. We’ve talked about this a lot in person (and text) but I’ll just say it here too for MY sake. The only time I am uncomfortable about staying at home with Anna is when someone asks me, “What do you do?” or “Where do you work?” It’s hard to choke out: “I stay home with my baby.” I think the reason I struggle with that answer is because, like you, I am also a writer…but since that job isn’t always paid it feels like it’s not always real.
I was reading a bio of yours the other day and you describe yourself as an “aspiring writer” or something like that…and I guess I just want to say this: You are not an aspiring writer. You are not an aspiring photographer either. You are BOTH- plain and simple. Take out the aspiring. If you do it, you’re it…and you’re good at it!
Even though I feel like a poser, I have made a new commitment to tell others: “I am a mom and a writer.” This answer allows me to tell others about BOTH of my jobs even if neither of them is always a paying job.
So, my encouragement to you is to do the same! When people ask what you do- claim it! You are a mom, a writer, a photographer, a blogger. (And a great friend and wife…but I guess that would be awkward to publicly claim, ha ha.)
Lesley´s last [type] ..Cancermoon
Amen! I second this!
I have a lot to say about this, but I will save it for our lunch date at Costco. In short, thank you
I believe that things happen for a reason. Even though it’s a bummer that they don’t need you anymore, you’re very privileged that you get to spend more time with your little one! Who needs cable anyway?!
I loved reading this post for several reasons. Since I got married, my mind has been shifting from the career mode to the “mom” mode and I feel like sometimes I can’t share that with my friends, because I’ll feel somewhat “judged”.
It’s nice to hear that other women like to stay at home with their babies.
Ana´s last [type] ..Rise and shine.
So proud of you friend. There is no place else I would rather be than home with my little girl. Although, I would like to ask for a raise in the form of sleep. I’m sure you are there too. Love you dearly!
Kel
Oh man. Remember when we used to sleep 6, 7, 8 hours a night?! WILL WE EVER SLEEP THAT MUCH AGAIN?
Everything happens for a reason!! This might open other doors for you (should you choose to walk through them). I just know that no matter what you decide to do or not do, you will be successful! xoxo
I’m sorry to hear about your job but I’m sure Everett is super stoked to have you all to himself now! =) Even though you do have to cut corners and get rid of some things (like how you mentioned cable) it really is wonderful to be able to stay at home with your child. I know it’s tough in this economy especially but I have been lucky enough to be a SAHM to my daughter and she is almost two. Plus, this just means you are going to find an even more awesome opportunity in the future!
Hey Ash -
Loved this post. I didn’t get to stay at home as much as I liked. I took a year off when I had you, and 9 months when I had Garrett. Luckily I was able to work part time until you were both in school. Part time work was the best of both worlds. I had lots of time with the two of you and still a little something for me. Here’s the thing – we are in a different place – fast forward 26 years – it is so much easier to work from home. You are a writer and a photographer. Both of which bring you much joy and happiness. However, the most important job you and Brett will have is being parents to your children.
Love you,
Mom
Lesley, I couldn’t agree with you more! Ashlee, I’ve been meaning to bring up the same thing. You are NOT aspiring, you ARE! While being “let go” is never fun, I admire your positive attitude and I know you’ll be just fine. Clearly you’ve already managed well – taking care of a newborn while blogging, writing, and buying cute date night gifts for Brett. You’re probably busier now than you were with your full time job and all of your extra activities. Now you don’t have to worry about answering to anyone else but yourself and of course Everett. He is one lucky dude. I’m excited for this new road ahead of you.
Thanks friend. This also means Ev and I will more time for summer lunch dates. He told me he likes gelato….
Great post – I can definitely relate as a new mom myself. Especially with the change that occurs the moment you become a mother – nothing is ever as important as it used to be…
So true
I think this is going to be awesome for you and Brett and Ev! Even though you’ll be a “stay at home mom” you have SO many awesome projects going on with The Violet and your photography and writing. You’re perfectly set up to pursue your passions
Christine´s last [type] ..Once a Francophile, always a Francophile?
Just trying to follow in your footsteps girlfriend. If you hear of any creative gigs that include traveling WITH A BABY, sign me up….
What a precious time in the life of your family! A blessing to be able to take time.
(Although I seriously cringed at your description of the “stereotypical stay-at-home mom”. Oh, mercy. Not too generous! I’ve done it all, mom-wise, but the years I stayed home were the the most creative. Tell your friends! PS: does anyone ever stop to consider that the stressed-out woman driving the van full of screaming children covered in jello might be the BABYSITTER? Just saying.)
Oh dear. I’m sorry. I cringed while I wrote it too. But alas, I have proved myself wrong….and you are SO RIGHT ABOUT THE BABYSITTER. How do I know? I was that babysitter once. Good times.
My mom always said that she wished she would’ve stayed home with me when I was a baby & not work – She missed out on so much time with me, & you can’t get that back. I am seeing that a lot of my friends are choosing to stay at home now & while I don’t have a baby of my own, I have seen all the work that it takes to raise one! It IS work! So good for you!
Holly´s last [type] ..Happy Summer
Thanks Holly!
He is more than cute–unbelievably adorable!
And I plan to stay at home with our baby when it arrives–being a mum is one of the most important and demanding jobs you can have.
Lottie´s last [type] ..Has it been a bit quiet over here?
I am so very excited for you!! My sister just put in notice for a year’s leave of absence so that she can stay home with her baby girl. My best friend from law school is completely QUITTING her high paying gig to stay home with her baby boy as well. I think it is amazing if you and your family can swing it. I, unfortunately have giant student loans that are equivalent to a shackle on my soul. Soo…. I will most likely have to keep working after I have a baby sometime in the future. Good thing my boss is flexible!
i have a feeling that this will work out just perfectly for you
enjoy it! and do the other careers that you love when you feel like it!
jackie´s last [type] ..little love letters
i’ve been back to work for a couple months now (Rooney is 4 months). i want to quit! i want to be her mom, full-time! i partly think you’re lucky that you were forced out of work. i hope that doesn’t sound too harsh or weird. i wonder if we can do it financially on one income, but it would almost be easier if God just said…i’m going to decide for you — take a leap of faith.
kelsey´s last [type] ..5 Steps to Setting Up a Term Life Insurance Policy