lesson #1.

Lesson #1 – Don’t knock it till you try it (I’m lookin at you, pacifier).


For whatever bogus reason, I had my mind set on the no-pacifier strategy. I partly blame my hospital, who proudly displayed no pacifier signs on every wall. Granted, they claim immediate pacifier use can be a hindrance to successful breastfeeding, but it somewhat brainwashed me nonetheless. I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I wasn’t capable of soothing my baby by myself?

One that wasn’t able to take showers, apparently.

This thinking worked for exactly three weeks, at which point Everett decided he wanted to be held all the live long day. Fed? Check. Burped? Check. Clean diaper? Check. And alas, the fussiness continued. Ev’s not really a fussy baby, so this half-ass crying gig was new to me.

Brett, on the other hand, was on the pacifier train all along.

“Let’s give him a pacifier!”

“Let’s buy him a swing!”

“Let’s put him in the carseat and take him for a drive!”

Whooooa, daddio. Simmer down. Five minutes of fussiness isn’t exactly an emergency situation. Let’s save the panic mode for when he has a full blown meltdown, shall we?

Enter: yesterday morning. I had just stepped out of the shower when I heard Everett wailing on the bed. He had been fed, burped, and changed ten minutes earlier, so by process of elimination I knew he probably just wanted some attention. I picked him up and we danced around the bedroom as I smothered him with kisses. He was happy as a clam. My hair was dripping water all over the carpet and I needed to get dressed before meeting a friend for lunch. I gently placed him back on the bed and walked into the bathroom to finish getting ready. Cue: inconsolable screaming. I looked at his red little face and looked at the clock before making an executive decision to code this as a full blown meltdown. I ran into his bedroom to grab a pacifier, crossing my fingers he would take it. Thirty seconds later, peace and quiet filled my house. It was magical. His eyes looked at me in confusion. Mom! Where have you been hiding this thing?!

I called Brett and told him what had happened, slightly embarrassed that I was unable to calm our son and had taken to such drastic measures. He, of course, laughed at me, but thankfully refrained from saying, “I told you so.”

That being said, ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY PACIFIER. If the genius behind The Happiest Baby on the Block says it’s okay, I’m going to go ahead and let my son partake in such controversial activities.

**this blog post enabled by the mighty pacifier.
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15 Responses to lesson #1.

  1. donya says:

    Go mama! I did go through a phase where I hated that we’d “given in to the pacifier” with my son, mostly because he was dropping it at night and I’d have to go find it in the dark to give it to him. I even tried to wean him because of this (~4 months, I think), but I could tell the need to suck for comfort was just too strong still for him. So we waited it out and a couple months later he was able to find the nuk on his own when it would fall out. And it sure was nice to have something to quiet him down in public as he grew older. Around 20 months, I felt it was time. We just kept losing them and I didn’t want to buy anymore. And within 3 days, he was done with them.
    donya┬┤s last blog post ..A Comparison

  2. Holly says:

    My son was in NICU for a few hours and became attached to his pacifier before I was even able to attempt breastfeeding. Fortunately he figured it out pretty quickly and we didn’t have any issues with it – and he gave up his pacifier completely on his own at 2-3 months of age when he discovered his fingers. Now he’s two and he still shoves two fingers in his mouth whenever he’s tired/overwhelmed. At least with a pacifier, you can take it away!

  3. Liz Denfeld says:

    I think you just need to do what you have to do and what’s right for you and your little man! Who says there is a “right” and “wrong” way. I am sure it is VERY hard not to feel pressure from all over the place to do certain things a certain way – but you’re his Mama and you know what’s best and you should trust your gut ­čÖé All hail the might pacifier!!! Hope you’re well, lady!

  4. “Giving in” and giving Cruz a pacifier was also one of my first lessons in learning how to go from being the mother I wanted to be or thought I should be to the mother that my son needed. You’re doing the right thing for E and you.

  5. Faith says:

    Ashlee, I love the way you write! Haha. I’ll have to remember this when Josh and I start a family someday. So happy for your discovery!
    Faith┬┤s last blog post ..When fear strikes

  6. Elle says:

    Oh gosh, this was the very first lesson that I learn as a new mother as well, and this was nearly two years ago when my daughter was two days young and demanded to suck all the time. One exhausted mother and two sore nipples later, we decided to give into the binky and never looked back since. We got a lot of grief about it from hospital staffs, family and friends, but stuck to our instinct, and I have to admit to this day that takes all the credit for the ease of parenthood. My girl is now 22 months, and still uses the binky at night and we still do not feel the need to take it away from her yet. Maybe we’ll change our mind when she turns 2 but the beauty of all of this is that it shows that we are the parents, and we should do what we feel is right for our child and our family. Everything else is rubbish of opinions and judgments that has no effect if you don’t allow it.
    Elle┬┤s last blog post ..This pregnancy, so far

  7. Ashley says:

    AHAHAHA, my hospital did the same, and about two weeks in we caved! I honestly think its good for their little gums as well, especially when teeth start to break through. Hopefully this will lead to more peace in your household! ­čśë
    Ashley┬┤s last blog post ..Cousins Say Hello [& other updates]

  8. Patty says:

    I remember one nurse in particular who would give me a hard time for holding my newborn son. She said it would spoil him! Really? He’s 1-2 days old & you’re telling me not to hold him? It was good to leave the hospital!

  9. Sarabell says:

    I read something recently about a pacifier alternative that’s allegedly easier to ween little ones off of but now I don’t remember what it was. I think some babies just need that extra little something to cope with being away from Mama for more than a minute or two at a time.
    Sarabell┬┤s last blog post ..May Review

  10. Michelle says:

    haha, love this post. lessons in motherhood, I’m learning a lot, thanks!
    Michelle┬┤s last blog post ..One More Month

  11. Lesley says:

    You’re a good mama…and that’s all I’m going to say. ­čÖé
    Lesley┬┤s last blog post ..German Rock Sugar, Nike ads, and a Miracle in Australia

  12. Lisamarie says:

    I think that pacifiers are totally okay! My best friend’s two year old carries around about 5 pacifiers at a time. It might be hard to break her of the habit, but if it keeps her happy, why take it away from her? She surely won’t take them to kindergarden with her, so just let the kid be happy.

  13. Katie Moeller says:

    Just curious…which type of pacifier are you using? I bought a few different types to try once our little guy arrives, but I always like knowing what other new mommies are finding success with…Thanks!

  14. Saskia says:

    Lucky you! My daughter did not accept a pacifier until she was 3 month. Until then my husband and I carried her around all the tim!
    Now at the age of 7 month and a lot crawling and climbing going on – I really do miss the times when all she needed was us – so enjoy it ­čśë
    Saskia┬┤s last blog post ..An der Wand.

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