Dear Callie,
When I received your e-mail last week, it made me smile. You’re right, I don’t know every person who reads this blog, and I didn’t know that you—at the ripe age of fifteen—were reading either. Blogs weren’t cool when I was fifteen; we were stuck on AIM. I know you said it would be really awesome to still be reading my blog when you get married and have kids, but I can’t promise I’ll be blogging forever, so I decided to write this now while I’m still writing and you’re still reading. You didn’t ask for any advice, but I’m ten years older than you so I felt compelled to give you some anyways….please pardon me while I put on my big sister hat.
To Callie, and Any Other Fifteen Year-Old Reading This Blog;
Fifteen is hard. Believe me, I get it. You’re still growing into your face and finding yourself. The good news is, most of the things that are a Really Big Deal right now, won’t be a big deal in ten years. I promise.
You probably won’t marry your first boyfriend. Or your second boyfriend. Or your third. That’s okay. Because all of those boyfriends will teach you something, and they will make you more grateful for your husband, when you find him. How do you know if he’s “the one”? You’ll know when God tells your heart that you’ll never find anyone better. And when that happens Callie, don’t let him go. Keep your body pure for him. It won’t be easy, but I know you can do it. Respect yourself, and he will respect you in return. If he doesn’t, he’s not the one. Do you hear me?
Your friends at fifteen will probably not be your friends when you’re twenty-five. If you’re really lucky, you’ll hang on to a select few. The rest will fall by the wayside during and after college, and that’s okay. They will change, and you will too, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Be selective with your friendships, Callie. Trust me in this. It is always better to pour yourself into a few strong and loyal friendships, than to spread yourself thin over a ton of shallow ones. Once you master this, you will be left with the real deal—the friends who will pray for you, cry with you, and do absolutely anything for you in your hour of need. They will bring you dinner after you have a baby and cry with you when your marriage hurts and help you kick cancer’s ass. These friendships are priceless, and they are incredibly rare.
Speaking of friendships, be a good friend, okay? Be the kind of friend that makes time to e-mail and call. Listen without judgement, and celebrate wholeheartedly the successes of your friends. Be kind in your words and truthful with your intentions.
When people hurt you—and mark my words—they will, the best thing you can do is forgive them. Secretly hoping they get fat and develop acne will not do you any good. I don’t expect you to fully grasp this at fifteen; I am still learning it at twenty-five. But trust me when I say—offering forgiveness feels good. You will sleep better at night knowing that you did your part. Likewise, when you hurt people (and you will), don’t hesitate to own it, apologize, and ask for forgiveness yourself.
Work hard. At school, at work, at life. Inspire the people around you, and make your parents proud.
Take care of your body, Callie. Not to be skinny, but to feel good. You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Find a form of physical activity that makes you feel alive, and find time to do it on a regular basis. Stay away from drugs, and don’t drink until you’re 21. Not just because it’s the law, but because you’ll be a lot smarter in six years. A LOT smarter.
Wear sunscreen. Seriously. Skin cancer and wrinkles are no joke. Don’t get wrapped up in blogs (too much). Facebook is the devil. Spend more time offline than online. Learn how to make things with your hands, and don’t ever, ever stop reading.
Pray. Pray for your future husband, and your future children. Fifteen is not too young to pray for those things; it’s the perfect time to pray for those things. Above all else Callie, at fifteen, embrace the person God created you to be. God gave you a specific set of talents to use on this earth for a short period of time. Don’t shy away from them, or be ashamed of them. Use your gifts for His glory, and He will use YOU as a light in this world, as a faithful steward of his grace (1 Peter 4:10).
Dream big. Love hard. I know God has great things in store for you.
Love,
Ashlee
Beautiful. I would have loved to have read this at 15. You certainly have a way with words, my friend!!
Laura´s last [type] ..Thursday’s Letter
Great letter!
Laura´s last [type] ..Year One: Joy
You always have such a way with words! I’m sure she will cherish this for years to come. =]
Sarabell´s last [type] ..A Glimpse at Prescott
This was beautiful.
Allie´s last [type] ..Ethel, the Movie
I wish someone would have written me this same letter at fifteen, I wish I would have been smart enough to pay attention to a letter written to me like this…would have saved SO much heartache….
xoxo
Forget 15… I think this is great advice for us all. Beautifully put.
Annie´s last [type] ..inspired week 62.
So beautiful. I wish I had someone give advice like this to me at 15.
Ruth´s last [type] ..happy chinese new year!
wow!! such a great letter full of wisdom!! I am now crying.
susan najera´s last [type] ..christmas time is here!!
Lovely letter.
San´s last [type] ..Awkward & Awesome
Ashlee – this is so beautiful!! Hope it is okay that I share this one piece of advise that I gave you about 10 years ago.
Callie,
When you start dating really pay attention to the relationship the young man has with his mother. If he does not have a good respectful relationship with his mom – he may not have the type of respect for you that you deserve. This was something I said to Ashlee about 10 years ago. And guess what, her husband, Brett, has a wonderful relationship with both his mother and father. And he is just an awesome husband to Ashlee. And I know he is going to be a terrific father to my grandson!!
Take care,
Paulette – aka Ashlee’s mom and future Baby Gadd grandma
This is very true!
This is lovely! Great advice
It reminds me of Baz Luhrmann’s “Wear Sunscreen.” If you haven’t heard it before, definitely check it out! (When I googled it, I didn’t really like any of the youtube videos of it, but if you listen – it’s very powerful as a song!)
Emily McManus´s last [type] ..Exciting news…
I love that song/poem….it actually came out right before I graduated high school
Love this. I’m 23 and took things away from it : )
Caroline´s last [type] ..My refrigerator staple
Ashlee, I love this. I wish I would’ve found a blog like yours when I was 15. The advice you gave Callie (& any 15 year old) is so important at that stage in your life.
One a side note, I love your mom’s comments, she is so cute on your blog!
Holly´s last [type] ..Spirit of 77 (in PDX)
Amen. Beautifully written. I’m 24 now and boy do I wish I had known all these things or someone had said this to me back when I was 15. Luckily I am where I am. Isn’t life funny that way? I’m sure in ten years we’ll look back at our 20 year old selfs and think ‘girl, you had so much growing to do’. Learning and growing luckily are part of life. What a gift for writing you have. God bless!
So true. It would be funny to still be blogging when I’m 35 and write a letter to the 25 year olds. I am far from having it all figured out…
Thank you for this, what lovely, gentle, truthful advice you’ve given. I’m not 15.. i’m almost 22. but most of this applied to me. Love your blog Ashlee. xx
Lauren´s last [type] ..A Day in the Life || Kaytee from Kaytee Lauren
Ashlee. This is beautiful. I just turned 14, but found your blog when I was 13. I love it. You have done an amazing job with it! You should be proud. Thank you for all the work you put into it. It is truly inspiring. This letter is beyond words, and the fact that you took the time to write this to one of your readers is beyond words! You are greatly appreciated.
Love, Hailey.
Thanks Hailey!
This is so beautiful girl!
jennifer blair´s last [type] ..Some days…
What a beautifully written post, Ashley. Even being a bit older, 19 year old reader, I was able to take away a lot from this. Thanks for being such an awesome lady
This letter is beautiful! I am the blog administrator my church’s youth group; do you mind if I link to this post for our high school girls to read?
Faith´s last [type] ..A few things…
Not at all! I would love that. Thanks, Faith
Esto está precioso!!*
While I’m not 15 (I’m over 30, but still feel like a teenager sometimes), I loved this letter. It’s something I think all women, of any age, can take to heart and learn from. Beautifully written.
Favorite thing I’ve read all day.
I wish someone would have told me this at 15.