You know those moments where you’re sitting on a beach in Greece, pondering your purpose in life, and you’re struck with a feeling so strong it almost rocks you off your lounge chair?
No?
Well, let me tell you about one of those moments.
I was lathered in tanning lotion, sitting, watching the waves roll towards my feet before teasingly reverting back into the deep blue mass. Back and forth, back and forth. A game of tag that I opted not to play. I was breathing slowly for a change and reveling in the rare weightlessness of my heart. For the first time in a long time, my mind was quiet. Pure. Calm. Open to suggestions.
I was overwhelmed with contentment.
It’s like the swish of a windshield wiper blade in the last second of a hard rain. That magical moment when you go from not being able to see at all to being able to see everything. And just like that, blurry becomes clear. Loud becomes quiet. It’s in those moments of clarity that we are able to listen. Really listen. To God. To His words. To our own voice. To our own heart.
It was there, in a simple and serene moment of clarity on the beach, that I realized I needed to be pushed. Challenged. Out of my comfort zone and into the unknown.
……….
….I love writing here.
I’ll say it again. I LOVE writing here. This is my space to create and string words together beautifully and imperfectly. This space brings me joy and hopefully occasionally brings joy to others. Maybe sometimes it doesn’t, but that is always the intention. Yet the problem with this space is that nobody pushes me to be better. The only person pushing me is me, and on most days, that is not enough. I know I can be better than the words that appear here.
I need to be pushed. I want to be pushed.
Which is what I told God, on the beach in Greece. I prayed for opportunities. For good people and good things to come into my life and allow me to utilize the gifts He has given me.
And then I just started writing something in my head. An article. A mini essay of sorts, about Greece and the pre-baby bucket list. I e-mailed my friends in PR and asked if they thought maybe a magazine would publish it, and they said yes. And then I got (prematurely) really, really excited. I googled things and found editors’ addresses and learned about query letters and went to sleep writing more words in my head.
And then I stumbled across this. And decided to enter. Not to win, but to be pushed.
And then, I was asked to write for this. Five minutes later I was so full of ideas, there weren’t enough places to put them.
That being said, no, I do not believe in coincidences. I believe in God. I believe in writing.
I believe He wants me to write. Even if that means pitching an article that nobody wants to publish, or coming in last place in the Real Simple essay contest. Because even if that happens, and let’s face it….it most likely will….at least I will know that I tried my hardest. That I pushed myself as far as I could go, as raw as I could be, fearlessly exposed in a world of masks.
No, I don’t believe in coincidences. Never have, never will.
I believe in purpose.
And that’s so much better, don’t you think?
Wow. I love this. And, oddly, just wrote something similar this past week. Good luck!
Its wonderful how operating within our calling opens doors. And its wonderful how often God moves on our behalf! It was great to read these words this morning, good luck! xo, Brittan
Wow. Thank you for these words. I can’t even tell you how much they meant. And yes. I think you are a writer. God has given you a gift. Thank you for being faithful and sharing it
ugh this is brilliant. and i love it. i struggle with whether or not i believe in coincidence. i want to NOT believe in it, but the logical side of me sometimes wins out.
but knowing that others are firmly committed to believing that things happen for a reason helps me greatly.
goodness i adore you.
Yes. This is so much faith and even though coincidences are more logical, faith is something so much stronger. This post says things that I’ve been feeling lately. I wish you luck on your wonderful, blessed endeavors.
So proud of you friend. You write beautifully- it was what drew me to your blog to begin with. Can’t wait to see the doors He will open for you!
Good luck with the essay contest!! We are so proud of you! Love you and Brett so much.
Mom and Dad
Wow, I love this post so much. I completely agree with you about moments where the Lord speaks so clearly and then it seems like doors to opportunity fly open immediately after. I hope that the essay contest goes well!
Mmm, amen. You have such a gift, Ashlee – not only in photography, but you have such a way with words – it’s beautiful and heartfelt, and this gift was given to you for a reason. God is going to use your words, your photographs, YOU – in huge, huge ways. He already has! I can’t wait to see where He takes you in the future. You’re a gem, lady. <3
You most definitely have a gift, Ashley! I love coming back to your space here time after time, it’s always so inspiring
your writing is beautiful. i love that you are finding ways to make it even more meaningful than it already is. for yourself. and others. you are an inspiration. always.
ashlee – i just found your blog, and i have to say it is one of my favorites. you have such a way with words – they are encouraging and beautiful. God is going to use you in mighty ways!
just wanted you to know that your blog/writing is such an inspiration and pushes me to be better. I LOVE reading it.
I totally 100% agree with Kadie.
I have been reading your blog for a while now and it speaks to a place in my heart that beats right along with yours. I love to write. I write for myself, not for others. I write for God. While I love blogging and writing articles, I know there is more for me, but I have yet to discover what that is. Knowing that you have struggled with those same thoughts is a confirmation that God speaks to us each in His timing when He knows we are ready to face the challenge. Meanwhile I will keep looking to read about your journey. I will keep writing about my own. I want you to know that YOU push ME to be a better writer and to pursue bigger things. I hope that you find that inspiration that pushes you on.
Thank you for your inspiration and your transparency.
Thank you everyone for these sweet & encouraging comments. Means the world to me!
@Janna – Thank you so much for taking the time to share that with me. I was smiling from ear to ear while I read it. Sounds like we are on a very similar journey! Keep writing for you. Keep writing for Him. I know that in His time, the right opportunity (or opportunities) will fall into your lap. Stay faithful
woah good luck girl. how exciting would that be if you won the essay contest? even more exciting is the fact that you entered it- that God’s making a way for you to really do what you love.
Gorgeous description! And such an awesome writing style! It’s intimate and inviting. And the message… WOW. I love having paradigm shifts sneak up like that! You crafted the ending in such a powerful way.
Ashlee-
I follow 20 – 30 bloggers, most of them of the very well known and popular variety, but you are my absolute favorite and at the top of my “must read” list. My husband and I are starting a web services business and the topic is somewhat obscure, but something you might be interested in. I don’t know if you ever write copy, or if this is something you’d be interested in doing, but if so I’d love to talk to you more about it. Amanda
You will be great in anything you do. Being a writer for me isn’t about loving it, it’s more like I have to do it or I go crazy. I think you are meant to write- very rarely do i meet a writer that loves their job, ha! I can’t wait to see where this goes (up, of course!)
YES! That is infinitely better. And to add a corollary, I believe we create our own luck.
I know about the quiet moments when you suddenly find clarity. For me too it only happens when I quiet my mind, when the buzzing of everyday life stops and I find peace from stressing about the little things.
Best of luck!