the pre-baby bucket list.

IMG_0182Like most couples, Brett and I had the “baby talk” somewhat early in our relationship. And like most couples, we came to an agreement on when we would prefer to have kids (“prefer” being the operative word here seeing as how sometimes God has other plans in mind). Brett wanted to wait three years and I wanted to wait five, so naturally, we decided we were going to wait five years. No, I don’t always get my way….only in the case of deciding when to put my own personal body through hell carrying a child for nine months, not to mention the excruciating pain of labor. Because in those cases, I get two votes to every one vote Brett casts. It will most likely be the same with baby names, you just wait.

But I digress. Five years always sounded like the perfect amount of time for me. You see, I adore my husband (a LOT), and as selfish as it sounds, I want to spend as much time with him as humanly possible before bringing another little person into our family. Now don’t get me wrong, you all know I’m baby crazy and love kids as much as the next person.  But it’s just so….quiet now. And I love the quiet.

I love my sleep.

I love date nights.

I want to soak it up as much as possible. Is there anything wrong with that?

Somehow, and I’m still not sure how this happened—I’ve been married for two years. I’ve heard people say that the first couple years of marriage tend to fly by, but you don’t really grasp the meaning of that until it’s happening to you. When I glance at our wedding photos around the house I honestly cannot even believe it’s been two whole years. Even more so, I cannot believe that (if all goes relatively according to plan), we only have three years left before baby-city!

Enter: The Pre-Baby Bucket List.

Now some people might have an issue with this concept because the typical and well-known definition of a bucket list is a written compilation of things you would like to accomplish before you die.  And I would like to take this time now to clarify that I do NOT associate the act of having a baby with the end of my life.  Just wanted to make that clear. I absolutely positively cannot wait to have children with my amazing husband some day. Just not today, or tomorrow, or the next day (please God).

I pitched the pre-baby bucket list idea to Brett a few months before our anniversary. He thought it was an “ok” idea, which is typically what he says when I suggest something before he really understands how awesome it is. We decided that on our two year anniversary, we would spend our romantic dinner discussing all of the fabulous and wonderful things we wanted to do before we have kids.

So here’s what we came up with, taking our timeline and relative budget into consideration of course.  Sure, I’d love to travel the world eight times over and experience all kinds of crazy feats but let’s remember: 1) the mortgage payment and 2) the three year time frame.

This list isn’t complete, per se. We agreed that if we discovered a new task that MUST be added to the list, it can be added at any time.  We also agreed we would keep the list printed, in a public place (side of the refrigerator), and cross the items off as we complete them.  My hope and prayer is that we will cross everything off the list before trying to have kids, with our battered and scribbled list on the first page of our first baby book.

We welcome your suggestions always (except those coming from anxious wannabe grandparents—NO, we are not going to remove anything off the list and NO we are not going to accept monetary donations to help us get through our list any faster).  This list will be accomplished as Brett and I can do these things, in our own time.

Without further adu, I would like to present, with pleasure, our Pre-Baby Bucket List:

1. Go to Greece (if nothing else gets crossed off this list, this WILL happen before I get pregnant).(Completed 5/12/2011: see all Greece posts.)

2. Spend New Years Eve in Times Square (Completed 12/31/11: see number 2.)

3. Attend the Probowl and/or Superbowl live.

4. Take a cooking class together (Completed 8/21/2010: see number 4.)

5. Go to Disneyland (Completed 3/19/2011: see number 5.)

6. Do something nice for our parents, like….really nice. (Completed 12/25/2011: see number 6.)

7. Go gambling in Vegas and act like we know what we’re doing (Completed 7/24/2011): see number 7.)

8. See Cirque Du Soleil (Completed 3/20/10: see number 8.)

9. Play hooky from work and spend a whole day in pjs watching our favorite childhood movies.

10. Be an audience member at the Tonight Show (Completed 11/24/09: see number 10.)

11. Go to New York in December to see the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center (Completed 12/10/11: see number 11.)

12. Take a road trip, a real road trip, somewhere. (Completed 9/12/11; see number 12.)

13. Spend some time in Australia with our favorite Aussie tour guides.

14. Buy dinner anonymously for a couple in love at a restaurant when we feel called to do so.

15. Spend one whole day with each of our three sets of grandparents, learning whatever they need to teach us. (Completed 2/26/2011; see part one, two, and three.)

So that’s it, 15 things we’d like to do over the next three years or so. Like I said, we welcome your suggestions always so let me know if we’ve missed anything. Until then, I suppose I’ll start working on my real bucket list, which I anticipate will be at least 27 pages long.

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32 Responses to the pre-baby bucket list.

  1. mitziegadd says:

    I love how much you love each other and feel a little guilty about offering help to speed your goals along. The one thing I might suggest to add to your list is “Getting Brett a dog!” I know that it would make for a very happy husband!!

  2. Liz says:

    I love it. AND HOLY COW I want to see Cirque de Soliel too! Double date? Lol

  3. Ashlee says:

    Totally…this weekend work for you? 😉

  4. Pingback: number 10. « Where My Heart Resides

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  6. Anjulie♥ says:

    I LOVE this idea!!!!!!! I always thought the exact same thing, I wanted to spend every second I could with my husband, spoiling him and being spoiled, before bringing the huge responsibility of a child into the picture… 🙂 I’m only 21, but I know that is how I’m going to want to do it when I get married, and a bucket list is an awesome idea! Good luck, and have fun crossing things off with your husband!

    .-= Anjulie♥´s last blog favorite orchestral instrument: =-.

  7. denmeister says:

    My husband and I have a 6-year old son and we did something similar to your Pre-Baby Bucket List. But you know what is sweeter? Creating a list of all things you want to do and places you want to share and experience with your child. It is one of those moments when you realize priorities have shifted in a most delicious way. 🙂 Best of luck to your Pre-Baby List and just imagine what you will have on your next one!

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  9. Pingback: dear future baby. | Where My Heart Resides

  10. Elle says:

    What an awesome idea! Good luck crossing out a few more items before a little one pops out 🙂
    Elle´s last blog post ..129 Vegas Baby!

  11. Lauren says:

    Great list! I googled for “baby bucket list” while trying to get ideas for my own 🙂 Your list is great! Thanks for the ideas 🙂
    Lauren´s last blog post ..Helloooo!

  12. Penny says:

    Ashlee #5 – you guys will have a blast!!, #14 will give you the biggest warm fuzzy … especially if you can tell it’s parents who dont’ seem to get out much … we made them cry … AND #15, I will tell you that I’ve only been able to do that so far with one set of grandparents and it made my life so much more full because I was the only one who had sat down and do that and when my grandparents passed away, I told my father and my aunt things they had never known about their parents, it broke my heart, but it filled my heart with joy to know 1) that I had those special things from such awesome people and 2) that I could share it with their children. When I read your #15 it filled my eyes with tears … the good kind! 😉

  13. Becky says:

    Just found your blog (through Kyla!) and am loving it! Love this list – what a great combination of silly fun things, sweet meaningful things, and items to enjoy and splurge on!
    Becky´s last blog post ..A little brag

  14. Confession #1: I totally have a pre-baby bucket list too, with much of the same items on it.
    Confession #2: I’m now web-stalking YOU. 🙂
    Confession #3: Totally secretly jealous when you tweeted about becoming friends with twitter friends after that mixter I didn’t see you at.

    Now let’s be real life friends!

  15. Brett says:

    Really? We’ve been back from Greece for over a month and you still haven’t updated our list? Are you in complete denial that it’s over?

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  18. Pingback: number fifteen (part three of three). | Where My Heart Resides

  19. DA says:

    Put down $100 for me when you do #7 on #3 not happening!

  20. Patty says:

    Don’t forget to see the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade while in New York to kick off your Christmas adventure there!

  21. Jamie says:

    Ashlee! This is a genius idea! We already have kids, but we were just talking about a pre 30 bucket list for me, and pre 35 bucket list for my husband (because he’ll be 30 in November ha!)

    I may have to steal your idea and put our list on my blog!

  22. Pingback: A List to Accomplish Before I’m 30 « I am Not the Babysitter!

  23. Pingback: number seven. | Where My Heart Resides

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  25. Brett says:

    How have we not completed #9? I mean …really?!!

  26. robyn says:

    14 is so cool! valentines is coming up..
    robyn´s last blog post ..My Ugandan Story-framed

  27. Lindsay says:

    I posted about this recently on my blog + someone commented + told me to check out your list 🙂 I’m so glad she did!!! I LOVE this. I’ve started writing mine. My sweet husband said he’s done all he wants to do before, haha. We’ll see 😉 I’m so happy I found your blog. I love what I’ve seen so far + I can’t wait to check more out. ♥Lindsay
    Lindsay´s last blog post ..Currently.

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  31. Kel says:

    Did you finish your list? Did a baby surprise you guys too soon?

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