on weaning, moving, africa, and all of the feelings.

“….Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

***

Last Wednesday night I woke up at 3:00am and had a full blown (silent) panic attack. Brett slept beside me, quiet as a mouse, and I started praying one of those desperate prayers that just sounds like: Help. Help. God, seriously, PLEASE HELP.

It all hit me in the middle of the night like a ton of bricks.

I’m weaning Everett.

We are moving from our first home.

I am going to Africa.

And all three of those things are happening in a span of eight weeks.

It’s….a lot. A lot for my heart, my head, my emotions, my sanity. I’m not usually the worrier type, but part of me is worried about all of this. Two days ago, I nursed Everett for the last time, and while he seems to be doing just fine with the change, I’m a little paranoid that my hormones are about to go crazy. We move in two weeks and I haven’t packed a single box, which is so unlike me, and yet, how in the world are you supposed to pack boxes with a one year-old crawling around? Our trip to Africa is seven weeks away and the reality of that time frame is starting to hit me. I’m going to be away from Everett for two weeks and the closer I get to that date, the more I start to panic.

All of these things are, of course, very exciting and wonderful as well. I’m excited to close the breastfeeding chapter and wear pretty bras again and leave Everett with my parents overnight so I can sleep in past 7:00am. I’m excited to move and redecorate and have a backyard and a dining room and do things like host dinner parties, which were always hard to do in this house. I’m excited for Africa, to experience a different part of God’s creation and meet beautiful strong women and encourage them and be encouraged by them and feel closer to God and use my gifts to serve others for a dedicated period of time.

All this being said, I feel like I’m the verge of a nervous breakdown and also on the verge of a major breakthrough.

This summer is going to be a season of change, and I don’t always do well with change. Sometimes change makes me cry and yell and slam doors and eat too much sugar and go two weeks without shaving my legs. I’m not proud of that, but it’s the truth. And because I know this about myself, I am trying to be proactive and take a step back from things that will cause me stress during that time. I don’t normally consider this blog stressful, but I know that the pressure to regularly write coherent sentences and produce pretty pictures will probably be too much for me in the midst of All The Change.

So I’m doing something I have never ever done before and I am giving myself permission to take a break from this blog. It’s going to be a crazy summer, and I have to let something go a little bit so I can make room for breathing and eating and praying and (hopefully) shaving my legs.

I have a few (just a few!) guest posts lined up for the summertime, and I hope you enjoy reading their stories as much as I have. I might pop in occasionally with a quick thought or something lighthearted, but for the next couple months, regular blogging here will slow down. I hope to be back in full force come fall with tales from Africa, decorating progress at our new place, and lots and lots of pictures of Everett (obviously).

If you want to get in touch with me over the summer, I love e-mails and they are always welcome (ashlee.gadd@gmail.com).

And here is where I offer up the comment section to all other mommas who are simultaneously experiencing nervous breakdowns and major breakthroughs. What is your best advice for a) weaning, b) moving with a baby, and c) leaving your baby for 1-2 weeks?

I need all the help, advice, and encouragement you can pour out today. Thanks for sticking with me.

Love, Ashlee

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our favorite baby items.

favoriteitems

Right before Brett and I created our baby registry, I e-mailed every single one of my mommy friends and asked what I thought was a simple question: what are your top three must-have baby items?

The results were confusing, to say the least, because all of the e-mails I received contradicted each other. Everyone had different opinions, different favorite brands, and different ideas about what was necessary for a baby.

So, I write this post with that experience in mind, and this disclaimer: when you have your first baby, you have to find what works for you. It’s a mystery that requires trial and error. Take all of the lists and the advice (mine included) with a grain of salt, and know that just because a baby item works for one family doesn’t mean it will work for yours. Baby products are just like any other parenting decision or sleep training method: an exercise in personal choice.

Having said that, I realize that most first time moms are clueless about baby gear (I sure was!), and I get a lot of e-mails from blog readers asking what to register for. In an effort to help and provide a tiny bit of guidance, here are my top favorite baby items from the first year, plus some extra stuff we love:

1. Video Monitor: I honestly don’t know how we would have survived the first year without a video monitor. Being able to check on Everett throughout the day/night when he’s sleeping in his crib gave us total peace of mind (and you cannot put a price tag on peace of mind).

2. Puj Tub: I’m not sure who loved this more, us or Everett. This little tub folds into the tiniest of sinks and makes a perfect mini bath for newborns (we used it from birth-3 months). The puj tub has a drain so you can keep the water running over the baby the whole time you’re using it, which Everett personally loved. He would stare at the water and put his hands under the faucet, and it had a real calming effect on him. I loved this tub because it allowed us to give Everett baths in his bathroom sink, which otherwise would have been impossible due to its small size.

3. The Origami Stroller: Everett and I walk about 1.5 miles every day around our neighborhood with this bad boy. It opens and closes by itself with the touch of a button, which makes loading and unloading from the car quick and efficient when we go to the park or run errands. It charges my iPhone while I walk (my favorite feature!) and has an LCD screen that tracks temperature, mileage, and speed. Plus, there is a ton of storage and two cup holders, which is great for when Brett and I take Everett for walks together (or, for when I need a place to store both a bottle of water and a go girl energy drink). Anytime I’m out in public with the origami, I get stopped and asked about it. I imagine this is what it feels like to drive a super nice car, with all the staring and drooling it elicits. In its simplest form, this is the stroller that every other stroller wishes it could be. If you’re somehow still not convinced, watch the video!

4. Swaddleme: Everett was a tiny escape artist from day one, and would never stay wrapped in a swaddle blanket for longer than an hour. He would wiggle his arms out of the top and then hit himself in the face and start crying. Fail. And then we heard about the Swaddleme sleepers, immediately ordered three, and our sleep improved THAT night. No joke. They are lifesavers, and at $9 a pop, you can surely afford to pick up a few! I highly, highly recommend, especially if your baby is an escape artist like Everett.

5. Medela Pump in Style Breast Pump: Even if you plan to be a stay at home mom and think you will nurse your baby around the clock and not have much need for a pump, let me assure you—at some point you will need one. If you’re breastfeeding, there can be lots of reasons to pump: 1) you need/want to leave your baby for a few hours, 2) you need/want to increase your milk supply, 3) your baby gets sick and congested and can’t nurse because their nose is too stuffed, etc. I have used mine for all three of those reasons, and the second two were unexpected. There are a lot of different kinds of pumps out there, and while the Medela is a little on the pricier side, I would argue that when purchasing a device whose main purpose is to milk you like a cow, it’s worth splurging for the best. (I feel the same way about plastic vs. cardboard tampons, tmi?)

6. Petunia Picklebottom Diaper Bag: I remember when I first got pregnant I was like, “I am totally going to be one of those moms who carries a diaper bag that doesn’t look like a diaper bag.” I found a bunch on Etsy (made in Paris) that looked like stylish tote bags. And then I talked to my mom friends and realized that what I really needed was something practical. I love this bag because it can be worn as a backpack, which is how I wear it 90% of the time. I haven’t gotten a mom haircut or stooped to mom jeans, so I think I’ll survive carrying a legit diaper bag….for now. But for the record: I still love all of these.

7. Marpac Sound Machine: Like any first-time mom, I added the Sleep Sheep to my registry because (duh) it was on every “what to register for” list I came across on the internet. And let’s be real: it’s super cute and in theory, a great idea. It’s also battery operated and shuts off after 45 minutes, which is great if a) you want your baby to wake up after 45 minutes, or b) you’re paranoid that your baby will become addicted to white noise. I happened to be neither of those things, and three weeks into using the sleep sheep, decided it was totally useless. For a while we were using our phones and iPad to run white noise during naps and nighttime, until my mom bought us this sound machine, which I like to refer to as The Miracle Worker. Unlike some of the other white noise machines, this one doesn’t play a variety of annoying sounds like whale calls and creepy heartbeats, it only plays straight up white noise, like a cross between a vacuum cleaner and a loud fan. You turn it on, and voila! Feel free to have a party at your house during naptime, your baby will never hear it. (Also worth mentioning: after Everett was born, I myself became addicted to white noise and now sleep with a white noise app on my phone, plus a mini fan on my nightstand. Weird.)

8. Hooter Hiders Nursing Cover: If you plan to breastfeed, and also plan to leave the house, you will have to learn how to breastfeed everywhere. I’m talking restaurants, churches, bathrooms, airplanes, weddings, malls, parks, beaches, cars, etc. Sometimes you can whip the girls out without anyone noticing, and other times you can’t. For those times you can’t, I recommend getting a hooter hider (I got the “nest” color and received lots of compliments on it!).

9. Tea Collection onesies: We received lots and lots of baby clothes before Everett was born, but the Tea onesies and rompers were our favorites. They held up through multiple washes the best, and lasted the longest. Plus, I just really love the Tea Story and what they stand for, so I’m happy to purchase their products.

10. The Bumbo: We used the bumbo a TON. As soon as Everett could hold his head up (and not do much else), into the bumbo he went. He loved it. I would let him sit in there while I cooked in the kitchen, got ready in the bathroom, etc. He was super content just sitting there, looking around and observing the world. (FYI: There was a safety recall on these a while back and now they come with safety belts. I never ordered the safety belt, but also never used the bumbo out of sight. As soon as Everett figured out how to slowly wiggle his way out of it, we stopped using it, around 7 months.)

11. The Ergo: When Ev was smaller, I used the Ergo more often than I used a stroller. It was quick and easy to put on, and allowed us to run errands faster. Plus, you can walk through security at the airport with your baby in the Ergo, which is (in my opinion) the best way to travel. I also had the Moby wrap, which I used a ton, but my biggest complaint about that was a) it was hard to put on by myself quickly, and b) the fabric was always dragging on the ground during transition. I loved wearing Everett in a wrap, but will probably look for a different one for baby #2.

Other things….

Favorite Baby Registry Website

BabyList (love love LOVED using this, you can add items from any online store!)

Things I loved as a new mom:

Belly binder (99% sure this helped my tummy shrink back to normal, I wore it for 6-8 weeks)

My favorite nursing bra (this doesn’t have the best reviews, but I loved it!)

New mom jewelry (I have the gold initial ring with an “E” and wear it every day)

Boppy (still use this for breastfeeding and bottle feeding)

Things I wish I had known about sooner:

The mamaRoo baby swing (I will definitely be getting one of these for baby #2!)

Iviebaby custom crib bedding (so, so cute!)

Reusable baby food pouches (genius)

Sakura Bloom baby slings (based on what I’ve read/heard, I would recommend this over the moby wrap)

Favorite Baby Brands/Shops:

Melissa & Doug (toys)

Baby Earth (organic essentials)

Children Inspire Design (art)

Buy Buy Baby (we bought our crib and rocker here….if you’re in Sacramento, the Elk Grove store has amazing customer service, ask for Joel!)

Favorite “I’m-a-new-parent-and-clueless” books:

Becoming Baby Wise

The Happiest Baby on the Block (must-read!)

Everett’s Favorite Things at One Year:

Sit-to-stand Learning Walker

Batmobile

Stacking Cups (he is obsessed with these)

Elmo’s World (wrong, he is obsessed with this)

As I mentioned above, this list is simply meant to share our personal experience. Trial and error is the best way to figure out what works and doesn’t work for your baby and your family.

Mommas, what are your top three favorite baby items? I’m always curious to see what other people love!

p.s. This post contains a few affiliate links, which means if you click on the link and then buy something, I receive about $0.46, which helps pay for diapers and a weekly trip to Starbucks. Thanks for supporting us.
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12 months old.

Everett_12month

Well folks, this concludes the monthly updates for Everett. First of all, because I don’t want to be that mom that is still posting pictures and updates at 38 months, 52 months, etc (to those moms: kudos!), and secondly, because we are moving away from the yellow wall that we use for these pictures. It felt like a lot of work at times, but I’m glad we were able to record Everett’s first year this way. I love remembering funny things he did and seeing how much he has changed from month to month! Plus, these photos look extra cute in his baby book.

Mommas, did you do anything special to record your baby’s first year? I love this idea for baby #2, someday!

p.s. In case you missed them, my favorite one-year links: what I learned in my first year of motherhood // everett’s one year photo book // everett’s birthday video // ev’s first birthday party

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the first fever.

Somehow, by the grace of God, we made it an entire year without so much as a low grade fever or ear infection. It seems Everett has my immune system (thank goodness because Brett’s is crap) and aside from two tiny colds, he was the epitome of good health during his first 12 months on earth.

What’s that saying….all good things must come to an end?

Tuesday night Ev woke up coughing around 10:30pm and while we would normally just let him put himself back to sleep, I decided to check on him. This is what we call mother’s intuition, folks. He was burning up and running a fever of 101.3. We gave him Tylenol and I rocked him in his rocking chair, singing You Are My Sunshine over and over again. He put his head on my shoulder, which he rarely does anymore, and I reveled in the late night cuddles remembering how good it feels to hold my baby against my chest.

Ev and I stayed home yesterday, canceled both of our play dates (sorry Benjamin and Rainier!), and the fever stayed around 103. Aside from the fact that his skin was hot to the touch and he took extra long naps, you wouldn’t even know he was sick. Most of the day we played with his blocks and cars on the floor and watched Elmo. And that is what I love the most about Everett, at this stage when there is so much to love and yet so much love to be discovered, that he can be rocking a 103 degree fever with a giant smile on his face as if nothing is wrong.

Brett came home from work with a new expensive thermometer and a fresh bottle of Tylenol, ready to take Ev straight to urgent care. I was shocked he wasn’t wearing a cape the way he flew through the door like Super Dad. Brett always errs on the side of caution, especially when it comes to Everett. Watching him google the nearest urgent care facilities with a furrowed brow reminded me of the time we went to a concert when I was pregnant and Brett was convinced we had done serious damage to Ev’s ears. He’s a worrier alright. But I guess one of us has to be, and better him than me.

The advice nurse said we don’t have to come in unless his fever gets to 104, so we’ll stay home again today and monitor his temperature. Please send prayers, ice cream, and any DVDs that aren’t Elmo.

Mommas, any advice on home care? We’re giving him Tylenol as needed, but we haven’t done much else….

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a father’s day giveaway with uncommon goods!

UG giveaway2Real talk: men are hard to shop for. I pride myself on being a very thoughtful gift giver and even I struggle to find creative gifts for the men in my life. Enter: UncommonGoods, an online marketplace offering unique designs and handcrafted gifts, also known as your one stop shop for father’s day gift giving. I’ve featured a handful of my favorite items above, but you can also click here to see all of their father’s day gift ideas. Today UncommonGoods is giving away a $50 gift certificate to one lucky reader, hooray! Enter below and I’ll pick a winner on Thursday, June 6th. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Pictured above;

Keep moving paperweight / Driftwood iPhone charging station / Recycled record bookends / Wooden bicycle iPhone case / Scratch map / Portable ping pong table

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